5am.....Matts alarm goes off.....Norah wakes up with a start....I know the day has begun.
I am pissed.
I lay there for 60 more minutes hoping, praying, not making a peep in hopes Norah will fall back asleep. She does for moments at a time, but cries, cries, cries again. Why, oh why can't you play happily with the many crib toys you have in there????? The ones we put in there to keep you occupied when we are not ready to get you? Why?????
I get up, throw her binkie back in her mouth and hope for the best. 7 minutes later it falls out, and hits the floor. WAILING ensues for another 30 minutes.
THATS IT! Were up! Dammit...(enter all the bad words in the book here). I hastily grab Norah out of her crib, we head to the kitchen ot make a bottle. As we pass Madelynn's room, I can tell she has been up for a while. She has mananged to climb up on to something and turn her fan off and light on, she is boping around. I'm thinking I am being smart and I decide to make the bottle first to calm Norah down, and make a sip cup of milk for Maddie to ward off the whining, which can begin at any moment. Because I CANNOT handle the whining for MILK at the butt crack of dawn, after waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
Mission accomplished. bottles and sips made.
By now, Madelynn has heard my banging around and is calling for me under the door. I take a deep breath, and as I open the door to greet her with a sip cup, to head off the whining for milk that is automatic before anything else, I smell it..........pee. Madelynn has a little potty in her room so she can go in the middle of the night if she needs to.
She had gone, and flipped the potty over on her bed. There is pee everywhere, bed, floor, rug, pillows, stuffed animals.
I lost it.
She went straight to time out, before her milk, I told her I was VERY UNHAPPY, this is bad.....she knew I was not playing around.
Afterall, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
After about 10 minutes in time out ( I was feeling very resentful ), she peered over the gate and said.........I WANT MUSIC!!!
I roared back......"THAT IS NOT HOW YOU ASK FOR THINGS!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DO NOT SAY I WANT!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO YOU ASK?????!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wrath unleashed again.
Madelynn: " please can i have some music, music makes you happy."
I stopped in my tracks, I needed to calm down. I took a minute, smiled, "Yes, music does make me happy"
She came over and gave me a hug. I was humbled, I was embarrased, I was calmed. I turned on Raffi and heard......"The more we get togother, together, together, the more we get together, the happier we'll be....cuz your friend is my friend and my friend is your friend.....The more we get togheter the happier we'll be...."
Have a great day everybody, take a minute to relax, be humbled by you little ones.
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4 comments:
There should be no wrong side of the bed. In this life we are given the love of our children and husband. All the material things and all of the time mean nothing without them. I lost my husband to a car accident. In seconds my life was changed. The only thing I had left was my son. I would give up everything to be where you are right now. The joys in your life are the momoments you have with your husband and kids. When Wally was killed it didn't matter what material things we had.Nothing and I mean nothing ment anything to me. All that kept me going was knowing I needed to be strong for my son. The hardest things were listening to Jameson and his girlfriend make plans for their life and knowing I had no plans or goals left. Then God sent Matt! Who also lost the love of his life and left him with just memories and stuff! But again what got him through one of the worse days and weeks of his life was his grandchildren and childern. The love you have is so great it allows you to continue. So in those moments that you think are so bad think again and don't sweat the small stuff, because believe me those are going to be the happiest times in your life. You will look back on them with fondness. ENJOY your children and LOVE and ENJOY your husband because they the most important things in your life. I am very lucky because God sent to me Matt and a wonderful family that has made life worth living. To read and see pictures of these children growing up and being with all you has changed my life, So pleae get up everyday thank God you have what you have because time flies and before you know it they will be gone. Then you can sleep all you want and guess what? You don't want too!
I'm feeling you. Moira peed on the rug yesterday. This is while I'm trying to get the house ready for guests.
It does help to slow down and relax when you can, but it's hard to keep your temper in check all the time. Being a mom is no easy job. I was glad to read this post and see that you sometimes lose it, too. I'm pretty sure we all do. We're humans, after all (even if we are moms).
Thank you kindly for your comments and sharing your stories. I chose to write this post because it DID teach me a lesson. Madelynn taught me one. But I also chose to write this because I know, many, many mothers have days like this. I know they can relate to these outbursts of anger, frustration, and maddening redundancies and I hoped that by writing this, they can relate to this, that they are not the only ones, they are not bad parents for feeling this way sometimes. I do not wish my life was different in any way and I hope I do not take my life for granted too often. But along with the good stuff which I see and feel and hear every day.... is the occasional bad stuff. That is life.
Thanks for sharing your stories! Keep reading, as I will try to capture my life, our lives in a little bit of reading and a lot of pictures!
Love you all!
Yes, we all have our bad days and lose our tempers. It's easier to look back and realize that it was wasted energy when you are older or have had a traumatic loss. Age and experience does make us wiser and we hope that our children can learn from our mistakes and they do. In their own time or with gentle reminders. Life is precious and raising my children was the best experience of my life. Sure, I would change some things, the anger at the small stuff, the wishing they would grow up faster so that they could do more on their own. All of us that have raised children realize AFTER they have grown, that you wished you hadn't wanted them to grow up quite so fast. That's what grandparents (and Madelyns) are for. Gentle reminders that you have to stop and listen to the music. We've all been there.
Love you.
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